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Mar. 27th, 2006 @ 08:24 pm
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sometimes i feel that people would just be real... |
dont do the previous one but please do it it will mean a lot thanx
http://kevan.org/johari?name=CY%20(carina) |
thanx to lindsey i thought it would be cool to have one as well so please go to this website
http://kevan.org/johari?name=CY (carina) |
im frustrated
im mad
i dont know what to do
why is it that things turn out to be this way...
you think that everything is going well but it ends up looking like hell...
i cant take this anymore
the pain
the suffering
the stress
help me please
you play games
you pretend you are innocent
but ur not
you pretend like you are the victim and that you dont know what is going on
you are two-faced...
you are playing,
playing with everyone around you
you say things you dont actually mean or do
you like to see me sad and hurt
thats when your the happiest
i cant believe u call me ur friend because
thats the last thing i would call u |
Yeah so it has been a really long time since i updated my live journal. I was looking at the new featurs going wow where did everything go?... anyways i wanted to write down a couple of things to update some people who care... yea so umm as a lot of you know im boy crazy (even thought i dont think so) but yea... i finally met this really nice guy and hopefully things will work out well... i actually met his grandmother wierd i know... but i just feel this connection.. the funny thing is he is completely opposite but the same... hopefully things go well... im kind of attached... yup anyways (i know he doesnt read this so i can say watever i want lol)
luv always
carina |
| » alrite im still in china but here is my schedule |
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hey u guys i changed my schedule and this wat it looks like.
A. Art Appreciation AB
B. Physics
C. Calculus
D. Us Gov and Politics
E. Tragic Hero
F. Christian Leadership
G. Critical Thinking and Comp.
well here it is
luv carina
Aug. 21st, 2005 @ 03:33 pm
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| » China day 2 |
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Hey everyone, so right now its Sunday around 4 o'clock in the morning. Yesterday I went to this place which i can't prounounce the chinese name nor can i spell it but in english it means Red Bridge. It is a building that has 4 levels of electronics, handbags, shoes, and all kinds of suvienours. You may be thingking oh this is just a mall in Beijing. Nope. The difference here is that the prices aren't marked so you have to negotiate, bargain, and figure out a cheap price. Now let me tell you this could get ugly (it kind of did). Thanx to my brothers charms all the girls were all over him and decided to give us cheap prices, but sometimes it wasn't cheap enough. This one time my parents were on another floor and my brother and i went to go check out the chinese umbrellas and I of course was just looking. I asked her how much they were and she told me. Then I walked away because i really didnt want to buy it and she was like ok ok ill give u for cheaper. and i was no its k i dont want it. She was like ok ok come here give me price. I was like but i dont want it. And she was yelling after me.
The ugly part got when we went to the handbags. People grab you and want you to come check out their "Chanel" and "Louis Vuitton" which by the way they sometimes say the wrong name with the bag (lol). This one woman called my mom crazy... it was so funny. Anyways this one girl thought I was my brothers mom and it was very awkward. I dont think I look that old. If i do thats really sad. Anyways I had so much fun bargaining and getting them to lower the prices. What shocked me though was that when they looked at me they could tell i speak english. But wat if i was from italy how would they know, or armenia? I'm still confused becuase i dont think i look american.
Anyways not a lot of people know english. They only know phrases and when to use them. Which somtimes gets us thinkin that they understand when we speak. I asked for a Diet COke they dont have that here its called coca cola light. I wasa like oh. And then if i ask a question they usually dont understand so its kind of hard. But China is amazing. The streets are so wide and so busy. Full of people everywhere.
We went to this restaurant yesterday, South Beauty. So good. Everyone says that when you go to China their food isnt good but all the places we have been going their food is spectacular. YEs , it is different from like panda express but it is so good. The problem was that most of the stuff we ordered was spicy but it was soo good. I luv spicy but by the end my mouth was really hot.
I am so glad my parents decided we should come here, its full of historical stuff to see and wonderful things to purchase. I think this is such a good experience.
SO yea i hope u guys are all having fun without me. Enjoy the first week of school... since i will not be here.
luv u all
carina
Aug. 20th, 2005 @ 03:23 pm
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| » IM STILL AT GONZAGA |
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HEY EVERYONE,
I HAVE BEEN AT GONZAGA FOR THREE WEEKS NOW. IT HAS BEEN AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE. I HAVE HAD SO MUCH FUN. I AM GLAD I AM HERE. I HAVE NOT ONLY LEAREND A LOT BUT I HAVE MADE A LOT OF GREAT FRIENDS. I AM EXCITED BUT THE SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER AND I AM GOING TO BE A SENIOR WHICH IS KIND OF SCARY BUT ANYWAYS I CELEBRATED MY 17 BDAY HERE IT WAS A LOT OF FUN... WE WENT TO GENOS AND THEN WE HAD A DANCE PARTY THAT NIGHT. DEBATERS DANCING NOW THAT WAS FUNNY... WE ALL HAD A GOOD TIME. I KIND OF WANT TO COME HOME BUT THEN AGAIN I WANT TO STAY HERE... A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE LEAVING TOMORROW MORNING AND I AM GOING TO MISS THEM A WHOLE LOT. THEY HAVE BECOME ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS I HOPE I STAY IN TOUCH WITH MOST OF THEM... I ALSO MET THIS GUY NAMED GRANT LOL... OF COURSE HE IS CUTE AND REALLY SWEET AND NICE... I AM SURE WE ARE GOING TO BE GREAT FRIENDS... I FEEL THAT THIS WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE. MY LAB LEADERS WERE AMAZING: SARA APEL, JASON RUSSELL, AND JONAH FELDMAN ALL MADE ME LAUGH AND HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THEM...
I AM IN A ROUND RITE NOW AND I AM NOT REALLY FLOWING EVEN THOUGH I PROBABLY SHOULD GO BACKA AND START FLOWING... THIS CAMP EXPERIENCE WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN LOL
"ONE TIME AT DEBATE CAMP...." LOL
LOVE ALWAYS
CARINA (AKA KAT STARR) LOL
Jul. 22nd, 2005 @ 03:52 pm
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| » Consumed in my own boredom |
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Okay its that time of the month when i've decided to change my attitude again and now i'm going to stick with it...I really shouldn't have anything to complain about...I think the only reason i complain is because i'm bored....school has become such a routine and i wish i could get back to elementary school when everyday was fun and exciting...i guess after 11 years of school it loses its novelty...i think this weekend i'm just going to relax, sleep, and study for SATs and the AP history test...i might even go to a knitting class with my mom which sounds exciting and something different....or maybe the four of us could go dress shopping...if i look pretty then i'll go to prom
Apr. 20th, 2005 @ 08:16 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I've completely switched my attitude today...i had a really good day for once....I feel hopeful about the new semester because for once i did well on a lit quiz...i'm less sore which is good....SAT tutoring went well and i think i'll be able to get into a decent college...hopefully i'm not jinxing(i totally didn't spell that right) it....
Feb. 1st, 2005 @ 07:22 pm
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| » Broken |
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Yesterday i went to conditioning and now i feel like crap....i think "broken" can summarize how i feel emotionally, physically, and maybe even spiritually.....i feel drained and i haven't done anything...i'm just tired and it hurts to move and i'm sick of complaining...i probably spend most of my time complaining and about what...it doesn't matter...i know everyone wants the answer to this question...Why are we here? I don't feel that in my 16 years on earth that i have truly done anything meaningful....i have a great family and friends, but outside of that...what have i accomplished? What have i done for the world? Why can't i be one of those people who are content with living a lie or not caring about our purpose? Maybe there is no purpose of life...maybe we're here for no reason....i could play the maybe and what if game forever and nothing would get accomplished....Will we ever know? I feel that my relationship with God isn't going anywhere...i share my thoughts and i pray...but i'm not helping anyone and if i do it is just to make myself happy and for community service...i want to get to a point in my life when thsoe two reasons disappear.....I think i'm just tired of highschool, driving (imagine that, but it is way to stressful especially when you don't know where you are going), and of living under my parents' roof....i need to get out of this prison...i love them, but i'm suffocating and i need to get away and make my own decisions....i mean i am alone because i live on the second floor isolated from everyone...but i'm sick of depending on them and feeling like i'm not giving back and i feel indebted, but i'm lazy so i'll never be able to back up my words...leaving would be easier....whatever...i'll forget about this tomorrow and i'll be okay....court
Jan. 30th, 2005 @ 05:57 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I broke my new year's resolution after only 21 days....I just couldn't resist temptation and ate fries yesterday....i'm not that disappointed in myself because 1. resolutions are ridiculous, 2. its not like it's lent 3. i still am trying to uphold the other part of my resolution and i've made some progress...i don't have the will power to give up fries for an entire year...it's impossible...Lindz i don't know how you gave up coffee for a year....today has been so boring...i should have gone to practice, but i really don't like running or lifting weights and i have to drive my brother to practice...i'm bored out of my mind and there is nothing to do...isn't that just perfect the weekend i should be able to do whatever the hell i want...i can't....oh well...
Jan. 22nd, 2005 @ 12:59 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I haven't studied at all for anything yet...i really hope i don't fail my finals. I love Arizona, but i dont' think i could ever go to college there..i just like visting. I hope my grades dont' suffer because of my laziness.....
Jan. 17th, 2005 @ 05:28 pm
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| » Who knew? |
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id=5261">"What is your political orientation?"
 </a>
WUNist
You're a WUNist! (World United Nationalist.) You hold beliefs that fall in the range between the views of the democrats and republicans. You're probably in support of globalization. You like to compromise and you're a level-headed person that considers what's best for everyone. You enjoy when conflicts are solved and you're usually the person best qualified to solve them
And i thought i was a republican but what does a stupid quiz know anyway??
Jan. 5th, 2005 @ 08:42 pm
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| » Happy New Year! |
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I wish i weren't such a good girl and i've been thinking this since i got to chaminade. In elementary school, you're expected to be good and bring back a's to your parents, but when i hit middle school i actually had to try and then being good became hard to do. I guess i'm good at being good...but i'm sick of it...i know i'd never be able to convince myself that the things i believe in are wrong and to put them aside for some fun. Maybe I'm feeding into what society wants me to believe is fun...but my life is pathetic....I feel like I haven't experienced life....i'm too wrapped up in procrasting my work...now that i have a car i'm still shackled to my house...i'm the type of girl who's close with her family and i want a break from that....it's boring....okay i'm probably not going to do anything outragous so no one worry, but does anyone feel the way i do? I'm just going through the motions of life and not actually enjoying it...I guess my new year's resolution is to give up french fries and do something out of my character and not worry about the consequences just once this new year....I no longer want to be bored....the end....someone please help me with the second part of my resolution..i need to lose my uptightness.....
Jan. 1st, 2005 @ 08:33 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I have never actually realized how much work my mom does until this week...since she's been resting for three weeks now because of her injury i've been taking over for her. It's hard work...i have to cook, wash the dishes,ect. and it's not as easy as i thought it was. i think that God wanted us to see how much work she does and not take her for granted, but i'm tired and i want my mom to feel better. I also learned that entertaining my brother isn't fun either....i have to drive him around, the driving part i don't mind....break went by really fast and i don't think i'm ready to go back yet...I need another week off. I've done absoulutely nothing and the homework is piling up....i wish i didn't procrastinate..oh well....
Dec. 29th, 2004 @ 08:23 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I finally have a license to match my car...I'm so happy and it couldn't have happened at a better time...my mom isn't feeling so well because her back's out and so now i can entertain duncan and go places. Today was the day i didn't walk out of the dmv feeling like crap...it's so weird driving by myself and in a month or so i'll be able to drive anywhere...i still can't believe i have it..
Dec. 27th, 2004 @ 05:42 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I can't believe i'm not going to the debate tournament...i've realized that i have no life besides debate...i don't know what i'm going to do over break...my family is driving me insane! My mom isn't feeling well and so i have to take over some of her responsiblities and i don't feed into it's a woman's job thing...i hate the world we live in.....maybe it's just my household, but is the rest of the world male dominated? Why did this happen? I have to go on a ski trip for 3-4 days with them and i'm going to be bored as hell...But then you flip the coin and say atleast i get to go on family vacations because most people don't... why am i so pessimistic? Hopefully everything turns out fine, but at this moment it looks like things are going to continue the way they are.
Dec. 16th, 2004 @ 06:18 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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OKay so everyone knows and doesn't have to ask me...i failed my test for the second time...i'll never be able to drive anyone so i'll continue to be couped up in my house forever. Don't feel bad for me because it was my fault completely.....There is nothing else to say so don't count on me to ever get my license because at this moment it will never happen.
Dec. 3rd, 2004 @ 10:15 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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I GOT A CAR if i could only get my license....I'm taking the test soon so no more being couped up in valencia. I can't stand it! Nothing to do.....I love it so much! it's a platinum 2005 jetta and when you turn the lights on the interior lights are purple! I just need to pass my test...there is no reason for me not too....well my aunts over and i feel bad because again in valencia there is nothing to do...we play cards and we can only go to so many movies. I can't wait to get my license...
Nov. 27th, 2004 @ 06:07 pm
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